Welcome to My Hell

You're asking me what's wrong,
Do you want my short list or my long?
You see, there are so many things,
And I dread what morning brings,
For I hear voices calling my name,
And laughter that drives me insane;
In the mirror I see tears on my face
But when I reach up to wipe them away,
My eyes are dry, there's nothing there
And my emptiness is hard to bear.
And I see myself looking at me
And I really don't like what I see;
And I get lost in a crowd,
And I scream, but never out loud.
And sometimes my blood runs cold
And I feel like I'm ninety years old.
My heart beats, but my soul is dead,
And I'm a slave to all that I've said;
And the walls seem to close in on me,
I'm a prisoner who'll never be free.
And I hear breathing in my ear,
And no one I talk to is sincere;
And I watch the birds fly so free
Without the chains I have on me.
And the sun fades a little each day
and the cold, gray clouds won't go away;
And I'm living in suspended time
And nothing I own is really mine.
And demons visit me at night
But I'm too tired and scared to fight.
And I wish I had a friend
That is real and not pretend,
That I can touch and smell and see,
But such a thing is not for me.
And so, I face the lonely fact
That all of life is just an act.
And I don't want to talk of love,
The tenderness, or lack thereof.
So go away, leave me alone,
I cannot smile, my face is stone.
And I won't talk about the rain
And I won't cry about the pain.
Don't worry about me, go home,
Please, I just want to be alone.