If I could have one wish
Anything at all in this big wide world
I would hate you.
I would scoff and snort along with them
I’d be able to call you a liar
A player who did nothing
But tell me everything I wanted to hear
A scheming bastard who just used me
To get his kicks.
I would give so much
To be able to say that you,
You didn’t care.
But life can’t be that simple
No – it’s just not that fair,
Because even when everyone says I’ll get over you
And that we’re better off apart,
Sure, they can think you were just…spittin’ game,
But me…
I can still feel your heart.
It would be so easy to just hate you
To close myself to you and turn away
To listen to my friends and just…move on,
But I can’t even think your name
Without remembering your eyes so full of pain
I can’t forget how I tried to storm away
And you latched on, so afraid to let me go,
And with how long we’ve known each other
I should know when you’re being sincere.
I know that in all my life
Even I’ve only rarely seen that you:
The you you are when you’re with me
The you you are when it’s just you and me,
No world to put a show on for,
The you no one else knows at all,
And yet you want so badly to be.
And I realize that you’re just trying to
Protect me from the show that I don’t want to know.
And sure, I told them your words,
But they never heard the sigh beneath them
– I love them to death, but they can’t understand –
I can’t believe what they’re saying
And it’s not that I won’t let myself,
It’s just that they don’t know you like I do:
You’d practically memorized everything I’d said –
That’s how I know that everything you said was true.
You don’t want me to end up jaded
You couldn’t live with yourself if,
Because of you,
Our relationship faded.
If I know anything I know that you never wanted to hurt me,
So you had to…
Or else you would’ve broken my heart.
You said I’ll always be your girl
And, to some degree, I guess I’d never really let you go
But you say that right now there’s too much going down
And that I deserve more than you just dragging me around.
So, with many a sob and a sigh, I resolve
To let you take your time;
I’ll let you fix yourself first
I understand.
I may not like it,
But I can’t ruin you either.
And even if I sob all day
Push you away
And wish that I could just
Hate you and be done with all this,
Please know that the last thing I want
Is to get my wish.