Madness exist in her gift.....

What disbelief....love has died, stands deceased
so beautiful the nature of she...rest in peace
in the corner of my mind, a dark space achieved
believed that this time wouldn't be as the other three
fooled yet again on the strength of we
for I join the listless Emotive's company
in my dark room, lying down, there uncomfortably
I mimic Love's actions in my own conscious being.
She stood there, strong and weak, I remember
how her soul flowed to my core's center
I wish to seek dementia in this moment delivered
vanish in the cataclysmic months of winter
as dead leaves disappear in cold of blizzards
Love is like this as it shadows the river
to my ocean entity, this frozen giver
chills the whole of me as it cracks, withers.
Piercing my chest with her sharp fingers
squeezing the breath from my lungs in submission
loving the feeling I bow to its ascension
give me more I beg of you, still wishing
I never laid my eyes on your sole revision
change to a form that attracted my attention
living everyday, for you kept me breathing
the air is so sweet to the taste on my tongue.
I have become, now, the loneliest one
you have vanished yet again, but what have I done?
Should I've succumb to every gesture you strummed
become the guitar strings, perhaps the drum
you beat on in repetitious stomps
until you move on to another instrument?
I'll never forget you, begets my wit
as my life moves, it trips on your callus trick
on this phallus you sit, trice upon infinite 
I only wish to enter you again.
When will that day come? When will it end?
Questions again, as I notice the trend.
Forsaken, taken to the ends and beyond
wrong I have been, believed you were strong
But perhaps, love, you love to pretend
love loving tragic forms I wish to mend
into my quilted pattern of women I tend
to fall into dark places where Love's welcoming
Me, Altair, Jamaal, I am them
I wish upon this twilight shine, help me win.
From clouds, to moons and stars in reticence
the past is so clear, yet tortures my sanctum
awaken upon my bed, I see the ceiling
Love you're still gone, let me sleep till you're willing...