Letter to the people: Whoever wants to read it
September 23, 2009Dear Annonymous,
It has been brought to my attention that many of you have noticed that i have been a little depressed lately. That i have been a little synical and a little moody and a little snippy and a little Pesimistic lately. To tell you the truth y'all i think it is life getting to me. I think it is just having the scene of me falling for my " secret admirer" when it was all just a prank when i was 16 still roaming in my mind. That had been the key element in my life. That had actually been the thing that killed my innocence and taught me true and utter hatred. It also taught me that even someone as pure as a mind that i had could think of bringing a gun to school and " taking business into my own hands" even though i never did a thing. I might be depressed because the cheerleader that i had a crush on since i even started high school rejected me every time i attempted to ask her out saying she didnt like having boyfriends and yet here she is now married with a family. I may have been depressed even earlier than that because when i was 13 ive noticed that something was different about me and the other kids. Being handicapped, i always was told that i would be different from everyone else and different from the rest of the world. Now i was able to see it in person what the differences were. I was able to see how much taller, stronger, faster, smarter, better my classmates were than i was and this made me down. I may have been depressed and down because through all of the 22 years my parents were married they NEVER said nor showed that they loved each other. Throgh their entire marriage my parents argued and fought and cursed each other out. I may have been depressed when i saw that the only thing that ever loved me that i loved back....of course being the sport of basketball....had betrayed me when the varsity coach denied me the chance to try out because i was " too small" I may have been depressed when i realized how much i hated my father ( reasoning behind me going by " Dan" instead of Daniel is because my father had a say in my name. I love my name. I raelly do. Just hate the man who had given it to me). I may have been depressed when i lost what was the only person in the world who understood me at the time in my Grandma. I may have been depressed when my first " gf" broke up with me because her family looked at my myspace page and decided they didnt like me even though they never even got to know me. I may have been depressed for all of these reasons. To tell you the truth y'all its all of these reasons and many many more that i have been through in life. Ive been labeled " emo", homewrecker, freak, ass, " fucking jerk", from a girl that i broke her heart....a story id tell anyone whose willing to listen. Actually, y'all im depressed for a lot more reasons than this. THis is just a beginning but im sure y'all dont want to know the others. Well gotta go y'all take care
Dan
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