I WANNA DREAM - NEW POEM

3 Comments

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  • Love
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  • Passion
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  • Inspirational
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  • Emotional

    Poem Commentary

    copyright 2010 all rights reserved By Karma JUNE 16TH 2010 COMMENT !!!!!!!!

    I WANNA DREAM - NEW POEM

    I WANNA DREAM- WANNA DREAM.
    SO BADLY...DREAM ABOUT THE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY.

    I WANNA DREAM- WANNA DREAM.
    NOW YOU GOT ME..I CAN ONLY MAKE ME HAPPY.

    I'M SO HIGH ..SO FUCKING FREE.
    YOU'D HAVE TO NAME A STAR RIGHT AFTER ME.

    I'M SO GOOD I HAVE MY OWN SAFE HAVEN.
    HOPEFULLY ITS YOUR HEART THAT I'M HOPEING IT'S WORTH TAKEN.

    MAYBE SOME DAY I'LL BE READY TO SETTAL.
    BUT UNTIL THEN I'M ASLEEP DREAMING AND ITS SOMETHING MENTAL.

    DREAMING ABOUT A LIFE WORTH LIVEING.I GOTTA LOVE MY SELF.
    1ST B4 I'M GIVEN.

    DREAMING ABOUT LOVE...DREAMING MY FAMS..DREAMING ABOUT WHOS MY REAL FRIENDS.

    WHO'S TEAM ME ...AND WHOS TEAM WHO?

    IDK BUT ALL I'M SAYING TO YOU IS

    I WANNA DREAM- WANNA DREAM.
    SO BADLY...DREAM ABOUT THE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY.

    I WANNA DREAM- WANNA DREAM.
    NOW YOU GOT ME..I CAN ONLY MAKE ME HAPPY


    copyright  2010   all rights reserved
    By Karma


    Poem Comments

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    ListninEar commented on I WANNA DREAM - NEW POEM

    07-23-2010

    I liked the first four stanza's of the poem...but then it started losing something for me. I'm not sure if it's cause of the whole spelling thing...but something started to turn me off to it. You got me back at the end though. I think I just don't like the whole "mental" thing there, but overall it's a nice piece of work. I'm gonna read more!
    Reply to Comment

    dahlusion commented on I WANNA DREAM - NEW POEM

    07-20-2010

    Dream on lovely goddess, your expression, the passion, the direction, is a voice all of your own. Bravo!! I agree with "devaamido" on the "cleaning up of your spelling". You are a part of a cell phone/text generation that is forgetting, or simply not learning, how to spell. Text message styling doesn't work in poetry, it falls short of producing emotion and imagery. Peace and Light, Dah
    Reply to Comment

    devaamido commented on I WANNA DREAM - NEW POEM

    07-18-2010

    Okay, here goes:Your best card is your courage to jump right into life, your pleasing energy, & the knack for expressing ho you feel. While you're learning, it's better to avoid street slang and cellphone abbreviations, irregular spelling & street slang are good when they're used to accent something about the poem. Otherwise it looks like you didn't know the difference. Start with cleaning that up & lots more will comment! Thanks
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion.

    T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

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