the unwanted birthday

3 Comments

the unwanted birthday

once again i turn one year older
but i feel younger in a way
is it insecurity?...... no
low self esteem?.......... no
fear of what is to come?....... some what.
fear of who i can become with all these possibilities.... no?
OK ya...

im 18 now

but my anger started when i was about 7 years old
i would get into fights
i would lie like it was nothing
like it was a game and i always wanted to win
at about 12 i started to smoke
i also started to cut at 12

but I'm 18 now

it seems like there is so much pressure on me now
to do the right things
to be the right person
i cant get into fights any more ill get put in jail

its so easy for me now to smoke
when i know i don't want to take the chance of being addicted

the pressure is so heavy know
its slowly killing me
i cant stop thinking about it
its consuming me
its like a virus
eating at everything i do
its killing me 
and 
all i can
do 
is 
.
.
.
cry 

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1990lh commented on the unwanted birthday

06-17-2010

deep expression. i so feel you on this i just turn 20 monday and yes it was an unwanted birthday. it's like yah im glad i lived for 20yrs but in a way not so much. half the ppl i know dont know me some would say im too serious other would say im too childish. i would say the worl gets a lot cloder once u turn 18 but its always been cold to me. just gotta find yourself learn to stand on ur own cuz if u want somebody to hold u u will surely get drop

Papa commented on the unwanted birthday

06-17-2010

hobbies are good for stress.Running works wonders. Learn to love yourself. You will be ok. I write a lot about sad stuff. I put it on paper and forget it. It's in the past.

Chaos128 commented on the unwanted birthday

05-22-2010

A heartrending hymn, T. Pressure (in my meager opinion) can only overwhelm you if you try to lift all at once. The reason the limits that restrict us are so effective is because we create them ourselves—and who knows our weaknesses better than we do?

Poetry is what is lost in translation.

Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

trainpain’s Poems (23)

Title Comments
Title Comments
My Shining Rock 2
Im sorry (revised) 0
Im sorry 2
i dont care any more 1
addiction 2
you will conquere in times of trouble 0
everything works together 1
the unwanted birthday 3
temptations 6
Target 3
feelings lost in translation 1
bitter sweet harmony 2
change 1
I will stand firm 0
out of focuse 2
why i play sports 1
Battle 0
wake me 0
Twisted World 0
Mother 0
The Battle Field 0
cant you see? 2
The Helpfull Death 2