I sit here in this room alone, as i so often do, as the pain  and sadness fill my heart. Longing, wanting, needing to be close to him, wrapped tightly in his arms. His warm breath on my neck as he whispers softly in my ear, " baby it will all be ok, i am here for you always and forever ". Wanting to tell him everything i am feel inside, wanting and needing these things so much it hurts, yet i knowing it will not come. so i sit here alone in this room as i so often do with a heavy heart as the pain and fear continue to grow. How i wish i could tell him i am so scared of the days to come, so unsure of what will become of my life. Wanting to tell him i need him so much yet the fear of being rejected by the one and only i hold so close to my heart, "the love of my life " and so the fear and uncertainty keeps me from reaching out to him.