You Broke Something In Me
You broke something in me.
There is so much anger behind that one little sentence.
A well of rage that I truly and honestly fear is bottomless.
A part of me wants to punch you in the face while I scream that out.
A part of me wants to grab you by your collar and just shake you screaming out that rage until maybe this time you hear me.
I want to scream out all that anger and blinding rage and just get it out of my system so that I can see again without the red haze that envelopes everything when I think about how you just walked out leaving wounds and scars I am terrified will never heal or fade.
You broke something in me.
There is so much pain behind that one little sentence.
The agony of it is almost unbearable.
I watch myself bleed from every tear in my heart that came from watching you walk away.
I huddle in a corner of my mind thinking about how the one person I thought could never hurt me hurt me more than anyone ever has.
The pit of anguish I find myself in consumes me if I don’t consciously guard against it.
You broke something in me.
So much fear and despair behind that one little sentence.
Loss of hope is a dangerous thing.
Loss of trust in one’s self, in one’s instincts is a dangerous thing.
I find myself scared to trust, scared to use my voice, scared to open up again, scared to live.
It’s hard not to slip, not to fall back into that dark place you once pulled me out of only to shove me back into with the force of a wrecking ball.
You broke something in me.
03302023
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