Rose Colored Glasses

I miss my glasses.
The pretty ones that everyone made fun of me for.
The rose tinted ones that everybody said I couldn't see past.
Everyone thought they were stuck to my face, that I was blind to the realities in the world.

I tried to explain that they weren't stuck and  that I wasn't blind.
I tried to explain that my constantly seeing the good was a choice.
I could take them off at any time, but I chose to wear them.
In a world of hate and ugliness, I chose to search out the beauty.

I chose to be kind... and it bit me in the ass.
Time and again it bites me in the ass.
I've always been okay with that because I don't care if something hurts me so long as it helps another.
But things change when it hurts someone I care about.

So my glasses are gone.
Ripped from my face and thrown to the ground to be stomped on and shattered into a thousand pieces.
I tried putting them back together, but all I have to show for it is cuts on my fingers and a shredded heart.
I knew there were nasty dark places out there but I never thought I would find them in the heart and mind of someone I trusted.

But now what do I do?
What do I do without my rose colored glasses?
How do I find the beauty in the world without their tint?
All I can see is stark ugliness and I just wanna close my eyes.

Before where I could find the silver lining in any storm, now all I see is the lightning that rips the trees from the earth leaving destruction behind.
Before when I could find the reason in the most chaotic event, now all I see is the pain of the wounds left to fester with no healing in sight.
Now I see only suspicion and deception.
I don't know how to trust or put trust in anyone anymore, not even myself.

I miss my glasses.

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