I sit.....

And i sit...for what else is there to do?
In the dark,
The wind blowing so hard...
Itz whistle sounds as harsh as you.
I'm lonely...
And I'm freezing....
My fingers rotting blue.
Wishing for someone to console me...
Where I am.... I have no clue.
My eyes no longer twinkle...
For my tears are the replacement....
I've been here for three days now...
Thinking of the day when he dragged me from my basement.
I kicked and screamed....but nothing helped...
All it did was make things worse.
He seemed so immune to it all...
But It just made me ache....my body hurt.
Dont know when it was..that I had fallen asleep,
But when I woke up...
He was lieing next to me...
He was stroking my hair...almost looked like an abandoned child.
His lips small and dry...his breath almost file...
Skin almost like wax....
His eyes begin to cloud.
He tells me to relax.
To be thankful....
....for I am safe now...
He tells me how much he loves me...
And that it should'nt have come to this...
He tells we that the touch of my skin....
The smell of my hair...
He couldnt bring himself to resist.
And as tears continued to escape his eyes.
He gently kissed my lips..
He moves his hands down to my breast...
My waist...
My hips..

And all I can do is...
....shiver....

I'm numb....
sympathetic...
Yet discusted....
This is my best friend of so many years....
Someone that I have trusted.

All I can do is shiver...
All I can do Is remain numb...
As he cocks the hammer back quickly....with his thumb.

I cant scream....
I cant move....
All my lips can do is quiver...

As He pulls the gun up to his head....
Eyes still fixed on me...

He says " Sorry that I couldnt be what you wanted in a lover....all that you needed me to be"
And that I was holding all the power...
For in my pocket was his hearts key.

And i shiver...

And close my eyes....for I dont want to see....
The person I love more then my life....take himself from me.


Then I wake up....
And all i can do is shiver...
My cells phone rings....
He says "hello"
But I cant reply.....

For all my lips can do is quiver.