One Cut...

2 Comments

Tags:
  • Emotional
    • TheDreamWalker
    • I know I shouldn't be allowed to post on this site compared to soo many of you. Many of my friends on here are much better poets than I can ever dream of and I thank everyone of you who read and comment on my childish things and I apologize for my poems I know they are not good.

    One Cut...

    One cut one swell of blood running down my leg do I feel better now that it's done?

    This always happens when I become undone.

    This will have to be stopped it shouldn't be done!

    I feel my friend's rage.

    I feel my friend's hurt I can not sage.

    One cut one pain traded for another.

    No I've hurt a friend instead of me but another.

    No I don't feel better I feel worse.

    Its almost as bad as being kicked by a horse.

    So no its worth nothing even trading the pain.

    Not even for one cut one line of blood carmas a bitch and will make the pain so much worse.

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    Dano commented on One Cut...

    02-15-2010

    while struclturally it is kind of tough to follow... i know from my own writing experieces that emotions sometimes trumps structure and flow... when there are things you really need to say and you just cant quit get them to fall into a certain structure just say what you need to say and let it stand as it is... with all of that being said i can feel the ovewhelming emotions and regret with or without standard structure this is good...

    mustascheman commented on One Cut...

    02-15-2010

    Ummmm...are you the friend? Are you thinking...like...bleeding ou t an inner voice or an unwanted personality or something like that? This is a good poem, although structurally a tough read. To write in free form is fine but one should still mind that if it is out there, from the readers point of view, it should have flow. Your feeling and expression would come across much clearer and stronger. A good job, I liked it.

    TheDreamWalker

    02/15/2010

    Thank you i will try harder next time. No I am the one cutting it's an apology to a friend.

    Poetry is what is lost in translation.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

    TheDreamWalker’s Poems (10)

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