I’ve lived all these years without knowing what for
            I only know the past has played with my future,
But when searching the elusive,
            Sometimes it conjures more questions than ever could
            be answered.
Then I ran into him, my world cleaved in two,
            For,’ til then, I had never believed.

Do I pursue this plan of passion?
Do I continue to allow this love? This man?
       Inside my thickest walls?
Do I dare love any one man this much?
Do I allow myself to love this man more than I love myself?
Do I continue to paste a target on my heart each morning
       when I wake?
Do I dare love a man who can bring me to my knees?
Do I dare love a man who could slay me with a word?
Do I dare love a man who would have a better life without me?
Do I dare love a man who could live without me?
Do I dare love a man who showed what real love, need, and
        hunger were, only to take that gift from my hands?
Do I dare love a man who will have women fighting over him?
Do I dare love a man who can turn work into romance?
Do I dare love a man who can change a bad day to good with the touch
            of a single finger?
Do I dare love a man who can make me weak with just a look or
       the sight of his lips?
Do I dare love a man who knows all my darkest and deepest 
       secrets?
Do I dare love a man who can hurt me badly enough, it would end me?

He has made me see.  He has made me feel.  He has made me alive.  He has given me hope.  He has given me happiness.  He has given me youth again.  He has given me pride in myself and body.  He has made me feel like the sun to his planets.  He has made me believe.  He has made me love the world again.   He has made me yearn to wake up each day.  He has made me yearn to touch, smell, taste and savor every minute.  He has made me love the mornings. 

I love him enough that were I to die at this moment, I would die feeling that he loved me completely right at that moment.  I love him enough to do anything and everything to make the world he lives in a better and happier place.

I love him enough to lay awake all night long so that I am able to gaze in awe at his beauty.  I love him enough to follow him to the ends of the earth, regardless of the elements or consequence, just to be able to walk beside him.

Stated bluntly, I love him.  I would die for him.  And if he ends this today, I will have had the opportunity to know love, happiness, compassion, need, want, desire and true arousal, a desperate need to please and thrill him.  I will have known true love and real happiness, if only briefly.  

Having loved him and loving him now, I cannot undo it.  Having made love with him, I cannot make love to another.  Having given him my total trust and long-silent secrets, they may never be secret again.  I allowed him in to do with me as he pleased, and entrusted him with all of my being.

I wanted to be his love,  I wanted to be his lover, I wanted to be his best friend.  I wanted to be his every fantasy, in or out of the bedroom.  I wanted to stay beside him, loving him, for the rest of my life.I just wanted to love him.  With every fiber of my being.

I loved him.  I love him today.  I will love him tomorrow.  

Knowing….just knowing what I do now, I’d do it all again without a moment’s hesitation.  I stepped in with my eyes wide open but blinded by need.  And my eyes are still open.  But I can’t stop the tears. 

It’s ended, of course.  How could it not?
Eyes streaming, heart shattered, breast laid wide open, I can still find a smile.  For I know that it’s out there now.  That it really exists.

Do I dare love a man who can hurt me so badly, it would end me?
Do I ?