one way persuit

how can i run from something that is not chasing me
im bracing for an impact so great with force and power but it will never come
im in love with you but the vibe is wrong and it is sending me somewhere i dont belong.
im not loving you the way i wanted to.
"you lose
you lose"
your voice says this, but i cant see you anywhere.

"what do you mean i lose? life is not a game"
i say my hands still red from yesterdays bitter cold air.

"dont lecture me on life"
you say this in a tone i have never heard.

"im sorry i say, oh wait no im not"
before i could explain myself i wake up.

i gasp in with relief and security because im finnally awakend from a horrible nightmare when suddenly i am being choked, but they are the hands that match the voice in my previous dream. the hands i have felt before in real life.

before i can defend myself i wake up ... again
will this ever end?