Lost Boys

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    Poem Commentary

    Sitting on the bow of the tall ship after reading to my fellow crew members at night

    Lost Boys

     Down below
    In the hole of the forecastle
    Where all the gypsies of sea
    Sleep

     I sit on a stool reading
    Until the rocking rhythm
    Pulls their own subconscious
    Over their eyes

    And they become brothers
    Of Winkin, Blinkin, and Nod
    Sailing on the sea of stars and night
    I sigh and close the book

    Climbing out from below
    I steal the breeze with my lungs
    And sit quiet in the shadows
    Watching the smoke
    from the second mate's cigarette unfurl,
    And curl as a wind indicator, and roll off the bow.

    He knows I am there
    But silence in the only answer
    To that which is inexpressible

    We do not look at one another
    We look before us
    At the sea

    Poem Comments

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    freemansvoice commented on Lost Boys

    02-01-2011

    the end of another long day, after putting the children to bed to stories of high seas adventures, the only joy you are allowed, you climb out of thier lives into your own, watching your mate who doesn't even acknowledge your existence anymore. Curled up on the corner of the porch, you look out to the approaching day, maybe hoping for the promise of something better. maybe life at sea. Liked this version better
    Reply to Comment

    shallenemcgrath

    02/01/2011

    Let me tell you about relationships at sea... they don't get any better. The transpac from SF to Hawaii is a known home-wrecker. Couples say -oh how great :-) we can do this together... and five weeks later they can't stand the sight of each other. It takes a special kind of person... the romance of it is always different from the actual being of it. You can try it without the water... just go out to the remotest part of a desert and find a cabin and take six of your friends with you... as well as limited supplies and then make sure that all of you are chained to the cabin so you can't get away... then you have some idea. If you want to maintain some order and literally not kill one another -take the smartest, most mellow, and calmly dictatorial out of all of you, and make him/her your captain. When one of you gets maddened by another one of you chewing his/her nails and spitting them on the cabin floor, -be sure to either get the rest of the crew to ostracize the nail-biter until they stop biting their nails or... get the capt. involved so that he/she can tell you how stupid it is to get worked up over someone biting their nails... Now you have the down side of a trip at sea. :-) Hope this makes home sound better. :-)

    GUSTY commented on Lost Boys

    01-31-2011

    I DONT KNOW WHY I PREFER THIS FORMER ONE TO THE THE LATTER; BUT I KNOW THAT BOTH POEMS (THOUGH IDENTICAL) ARE SO PERFECTLY WRITTEN THAT THEY ARE SIMPLY SUPERB! GREAT AND MARVELOUS WORK, DEAR FRIEND!
    Reply to Comment

    shallenemcgrath

    02/01/2011

    Thank you gusty!... age gives new perspective, but there is distance from the actual experience.

    blvdobd2009 commented on Lost Boys

    01-31-2011

    Hey sweetheart, Ok I went and read both editions of this work, and decided to comment on this page, because this particular art spoke clearer to me. To me i feel that this work is more polished, and I want to say this to you, I did not look at dates, so I have no idea which one that you wrote first I am going clearly off work and art here based on what I feel, I do agree with chaos, and feel a strong freudian pull here, the ID, subconcious, a lot of fantastical elements here, I am in love with it, but I must say that I always use poetry to speak to what I feel like it is trying to convery rather than what the author might actually be saying, makes it more interesting to me, I see a lot here and I love it...
    Reply to Comment

    shallenemcgrath

    01/31/2011

    Thank you Blvd. I really appreciate your opinion.. It means a lot to me.

    Chaos128 commented on Lost Boys

    01-31-2011

    I sense Freudian indications here (I'm the poster child for conspiracy theories both real and imagined); for instance: is the "second mate" cognizant of his subordinate status ha ha. You can't throw beggin bits in front of a woofer like me... I'll snap 'em up before they hit the floor. Great stuff, Sha : D
    Reply to Comment

    shallenemcgrath

    01/31/2011

    Thanks Chaos... but the second mate had superior status to me, as I was only a swab- or as they say on the Tall Ships (Jack).

    MindNumbing commented on Lost Boys

    01-31-2011

    Shallene, I've read both this one and the rewrite several times and I'm finding it tough to choose which one I, personally, prefer. Both are fantastic in their own ways, with extremely strong imagery and a compelling storyline. This one has a softer, more elegant feel and the rewrite has more of a harder edge to it. Neither of which serve as a pro or a con... just subtle differences that somehow change the entire feel of the poem for me. That said, I'm a sucker for the elegance... so I think my preference would need to lean a little (but only a little) toward this one. :)
    Reply to Comment

    shallenemcgrath

    01/31/2011

    Thanks MN. This was the kind of comparison that I was looking for... It rocks that you got that.

    Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

    Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

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