Remember when we first met feelings that felt so true
You wooed me pursued me until deeper feelings grew
You said you wanted so much more to spend your life with me
Sincerity in your eyes melted my heart in your life I had to be

It seemed so right so natural first a daughter then a son
I was so engulfed Just didn't see subtle changes had begun
Had I known then what I know now that was the time to up and go
But I was blind when you began to turn into Some1 I didn't know

The first sign was jealousy for reasons I didn't overstand
For your insecurity my assurance was your demand
Then came your dark moods created uneasy atmosphere
I realise now those combined slowly changed my trust to fear

Thought you were in control with your mental manipulation
Broke my heart a thousand times with verbal degradation
Tried to leave a thousand times each smothered with lies
Tears in your eyes full of the cries I apologize

Weakened, broken heart confused when the violence began
Yet shame and pride let noone know of pain caused by man
Through every violent onslaught each more merciless than the last
Verbal reinforcement love dead in a distant past

You only stick around cos now you think you own me
You dont love me you resent me for helpin u make this family
Gave up fighting letting feelings show dont allow tears to flow
Inside I feel am dyin wit no safe place to go

Lookin in the mirror who's that looking back at me
Swollen bruised n bleedin eyes barely open its a wonder I can see
This is so Damn wrong for my babies no life for them to live
Gotta get mentally strong break away sumthin gotta give

How could you  all I'd ever done was give my love to you
Cant let fear grip no longer to my kids I gotta b true
Right there n then I know just soon am leavin you
This nightmare will be over me and you are through

Wait until your sleepin whole body filled with dread
All your threats n promises echoin in my head
Creep into da kids room, 'shhh' as i lift them out they bed
With just the clothes we stood in to the dark cold night we fled

Every step am takin, thinkin of all that shit you said
If I ever leave you'll search and find I will end up dead
There aint no goin back, for my kids I gotta stay strong
Put up with so much pain n misery for way too long

Both Knew I didn't deserve that cos never did you no wrong
Now your buried in my past something that does'nt belong
One of the hardest things was 2 bury dead love start anew
For all of  the wrong reasons the hardest was leaving you

 ©jacqui fray