CAVING IN PARTS I and II

3 Comments

Poem Commentary

This is the sad truth about the consequences that lie ahead when the choice of sin's deception is made. Choose carefully: temporary sweetness often leads to long-term suffering, angst, pain, distress, and discomfort. Remember this song by Petra, "Think Twice"..."Hey..did you ever think twice, something inside says stay away! Hey, did you ever think twice, when there's still time you can o the other way; Hey, did you ever think twice; if you choose vile you're gonna pay the price. Made to face this sin, you better think again, you better think again, Hear this urgent voice, a second time, and given a second thought to where you draw the line!

CAVING IN PARTS I and II

Caving In (in alternating 3/3 and 4/6 measure; in the key of D7minor)
In-side my' lonely space---
Mmm,
My Dreams have been displaced
Exchanged' for a' prize
That prooved a disdain

Its your spirit that' sub'sides
Traded through compromise
It blows out' the fire with'in
And wears away the rim

The floor is caving in
I, I --- mmm. drowning ag'in....
The floods of the deluge---
Are swiftly rush'ing in

The flo-or's cavin' in
 I-mmm. Drown-ing again....
A war of grit' n' grim'---
When 'I' failed to defend.
Behind these' clouded eyes---,
mmm filled with' dispise
Such ima'ges they see--
Painted in the' mind.

The flo-or is cavin' in
 I-mmm. drowning a'gain....
I'm on' the' ocean floor---
And do-nt know,how' to' swim!
The floor is caving in
I, I --- mmm. drowning ag'in....

The recourse I then find;
Still fails me in the end.
The flo-or's cavin' in
I, mm Drowning again,
The cur'rent grabbed ahold
And slowly pulled me in

Its all inside a mind--
The' deeper, dis'be'lief
Un'der'neath the disguise
Its' a mes'sage that it pleads
Burning soul as its breathes
Bearing down in its greed

A vile rushing wind
That creeps ever in
Fallin far so fast
vicious tale spin.

And lo-, I behold
Its, a' stor'y that is told
Find the peace
In--side your--self
or it will tear a hole

CAVING IN (PART II) Key of E flat- 3/6
The floor is caving in
And, You're drowning again
Its all grit and grim
The floor is caving in

And you think you can uphold
That you'll find another road
But when you've fallen so far
It was the only 
life you've known

The floor is caving in 
You are drowning again
You're on the ocean floor
And you dont know how to swim

The floor is caving in
And slowly sweeping in
A fierce and rushing wind
Has bound you from within

You are you own demise
In strife that clouds your mind
The angst that pours inside
Fades your heart inside.

The floor is caving in
You are drowning again
In a war of flesh and skin
A lowly mess you're in

The floor is caving in
At the center of the spin
A hurricane of lament
The floor is caving in

The floor is caving in 
You are drowning again
To the dark of abyss
The floor is caving in

The floor is caving in
You are, drowning again
You are on the ocean floor
But you dont know how to swim

Its all in grit and grim
The floor is caving in

In a tsuami of deluge 
That boldy consumes
The fire of the flames
That burn inisde of you

And crumblin' to the ground
Seperating the resound
The despair to abound
Unless you--- rebound.

The floor has caven in
You fell so far within
You curdled your distress
Shattered in the end

The floor has caven in
To lush your strife and then
Washed away your dreams
For a dullen sense--

Too hard to back away
You trapped your heart within
Unless the candle lights a flame
You'll fail in the end

And deep inside youve known
The real truth so clear and bold
And its the seed that youve sown
Your wage for the loan.

Its all in grit and grim
The floor has caven in
Crumbling down to the sin 
The dust is settlin',
The bleaming lights have faded,
It was never happiness.

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Wakeitha commented on CAVING IN PARTS I and II

12-01-2011

when i read this it made me look back when I tell people about peter in the bible when he wanted to walk acrose the water like our lord and savior. but he got scared and started to sink thats like life, heaven hell life and dealth. trust in our Lord Christ Jesus and he can save you.Amen

gregster commented on CAVING IN PARTS I and II

06-09-2010

yo i almost caved in man..the flow is sweet . i understand where this comes from man.....nice work

ontherise1984 commented on CAVING IN PARTS I and II

06-07-2010

PLEASE CONSIDER THIS POEM. LOOK AT IT VERY CLOSELY. SIN BRINGS PAIN. I KNOW. SOME PEOPLE LEARN BEST AT THE FINAL WARNING BELL. THAT WAS ME....

To have great poets there must be great audiences too.

Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)

ontherise1984’s Poems (17)