As I Fall In

5 Comments

Tags:
  • Love
    • ,
  • Emotional
    • ,
  • Dark Poetry

    As I Fall In

     I sleep beside you
                                Awake, deep inside of you
    Where, my only need
                                Is to breathe . . .
    Each passing season
                                Brings lessening reason
    For reliving pain,
                                And the wisdom gained
    Granted clarity,
                                Infinitive charity
    Love —     can be feckless
                                It can be so     reckless
    I    , attack the slack
                                And     what I get back
    Pleases my knees
                                As I fall in with ease
    Beside you,
                                Inside of you
    There, my only need
                                Is for you     — to breathe

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    ontherise1984 commented on As I Fall In

    11-14-2011

    Wow! I worked hard on my love poetry this week-I did not come close to this level of eloquence. Aesthetically pleasing, enamouring and romantic in virtually every way. Love the photo and typeface, it adds a great touch! Amazing sentence formation, with uniquely highlighted syncopation (Great line spacing, sentence combining and punctuation help nail this). I also appreciate a non-traditional rhyme, with a synchronous contrast between parts A and B in the phrase, Great write! This is a potential winner for the week!
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    frog commented on As I Fall In

    06-10-2010

    This poem was formatted very well. I like how the poem transferres the needs of one person blooming into another. Good concept.
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    Crush commented on As I Fall In

    06-10-2010

    really nice to feel someone writing with such sensitivity and clarity....i love your work ! easy 10
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    Rhymer commented on As I Fall In

    06-07-2010

    I enjoyed the unique style of this well written piece. I also learned a new word (feckless) of a person lacking in efficiency or vitality. 10 from me.
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    Teardrops commented on As I Fall In

    06-07-2010

    This poem has great flow and is written wonderfully . . I still see someone who gives his all to love thanks Marie
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    When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

    John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) Thirty-fifth President of the USA

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