Adrift!

5 Comments

Poem Commentary

I found this poem in a notebook - I believe it was written after a breakup I did not want. I hope you like it - it's my first post as I question if I'm any good at this. Any comments would be appreciated. Thank you. Tony Z

Adrift!

Adrift

Suddenly!
Empty space 
Floating through the icy void
My lifeline severed.
I know repair is possible
but
the damage is great
and the tether is almost 
no more.
Frantic!
I scream & kick
trying
to maneuver back
to my ship
It's green windows 
glow 
brighter than I've ever seen them.
Weightless I fear for my very existence
My ship drifts closer then
further away.
It's fuel trails behind
like blonde flowing
hair - wispy and silken.
Tears run down my face 
Scared!
I flashback to a day
on Earth
Warm
Safe
ALIVE!
Now I feel I am dead.
All sensation gone
My mind drifts
again
to words spoken 
and feelings felt.
Extraordinary!!
How could I have 
been so
foolish
My lifeline!
Suddenly I remember 
my ship
It's sleek shape
cuts through space & time
always moving
Elegant
Without my ship Life is
meaningless.
A sand beach
A heart embedded
A message 
DK loves SS
Wow!
How could I have 
been so lucky?
I wonder
as I open my eyes.
My ship is beautiful
and alas I make
contact.
How gentle I 
must be.
Tender - ginger
Do not harm
the nerve center
It's delicate intricacies
entice me to work
quickly.
But slowly is better
Slowly - deliberately
Caring!
I make adjustments and 
I pray
my mistakes
will be forgiven.

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dahlusion commented on Adrift!

09-23-2010

nothing like the shake-y feeling of loosing touch with the Mother Ship and you deliver all of those feelings. Bravo!! Peace and Light, dah

gogant commented on Adrift!

09-22-2010

You make it seem as if losing a gal is like drifting along on the sea of regrets.................don't sweat it....there are lots of ladies waiting to take an ocean cruise with you...or else, you could get a bigger boat, Tony....................Very good.................gogant

TonyZeski

09/22/2010

Thanks. Actually, this poem was written, I'd say...in 1992 or 1993. I found it in an old notebook that was packed away. I read it, and thought it was really good for me so I posted it Thanks again!

rsalassi commented on Adrift!

09-22-2010

You had me up to the end, wondering, please, please, either get back onboard,...but don't drown. And you DIDN'T!!! Good write.

Dano commented on Adrift!

09-21-2010

tony... it is my opionion that you need not worry wheather you are any good at this... this is a fantastic poem... i can feel the ache as you lose your "ship" and the emotion expressed is very vivid... nicely done

To have great poets there must be great audiences too.

Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)

TonyZeski’s Poems (3)

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