Survivor's Poem

2 Comments

Tags:
  • Hurt
    • ,
  • Relationship
    • ,
  • Hope
    • ,
  • Poetry
    • ,
  • Inspirational
    • ,
  • Emotional

    Poem Commentary

    During my senior year of high school, I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with someone who I thought I could trust. He was very manipulative and controlling, he used to call me every name in the book and call me down for every little thing. Every time I tried to leave he used to say If You love God love me to get me to stay. It got so overwhelming that I had a seizure two days before his birthday. I have been struggling with depression since then. I have learned to channel my pain into spoken word poetry from this experience I have learned to look for Hope in the ashes of pain and suffering which is what we are all capable of finding if we dig deep enough to find it. I wrote this piece to help other survivors of any form of abuse by bringing them comfort and peace through my words.

    Survivor's Poem
    When I first laid my eyes on you,
    you were wise beyond your years.
    Your wisdom within you reached beyond the cosmos.
    Your heart so giving so loving
    You had me at first glance
    You had me at hello.
    When I first said hello to you
    my heart skipped a beat
    your smile could light any dark crevasse.
    When I first said hello to you
    I gave you my heart.
    You took me by the hand
    whispering sweet nothings in my ear
    like a gentle fall wind
    caressing my cheeks.
    Your touch made my skin
    come alive
    burning with longing and desire.
    As we grew closer
    your touch
    your kisses
    seduced me
    towards a path
    of unending
    torment
    and suffering.
    You taught me
    that love
    was putting your satisfaction
    your gratification over my safety.
    You kept me enslaved
    to your sick game
    your taunts
    your words
    like poison
    pumping through
    my veins.
    You brain washed me into a world
    where I was the marionette
    and you pulled my strings 
    to manipulate and control me.
    Every time I tried to leave
    you begged me not to leave
    you told me you would change
    your lies were like daggers
    in my heart
    killing me softly.
    Because of you
    I lived in fear
    I lived in endless suffering.
    Because of you
    my mind and spirit
    were broken
    shattered 
    dying slowly.
    Because of you
    I lived with darkness
    slowly consuming me
    from the inside out.
    Even when we parted ways
    You continued to taunt me.
    I begged you to go away
    but you refused
    you held onto me
    like a demon
    clawing at my back.
    I tried to put you from my mind
    but you made a home in my memories
    continuing to taunt me
    continuing to kill me softly.
    Because of you
    I walk around
    with caution tape around my heart.
    I look back
    at what we had
    with no anger
    but sadness.
    I look back with
    hope
    rather than despair.
    I want you to know
    that I am forgiving myself
    for not being strong enough
    I am forgiving myself for not
    believing in myself.
    I am letting anger go
    I am letting fear go
    I am letting suffering go
    I am letting pain go
    I am letting you go.
    I want you to know
    I am happy without you.
    I am no longer a victim
    that you can dominate.
    I want you to know
    that I am stronger now.
    For I am no victim anymore.
    I am a warrior
    I am strong
    I am beautiful
    I am a survivor
    Nothing will ever stand in my way again
    I am taking back my life here and now
    I will rise
    You will fall.
    I am a survivor.
    When I first laid my eyes on you,
    you were wise beyond your years.
    Your wisdom within you reached beyond the cosmos.
    Your heart so giving so loving
    You had me at first glance
    You had me at hello.
    When I first said hello to you
    my heart skipped a beat
    your smile could light any dark crevasse.
    When I first said hello to you
    I gave you my heart.
    You took me by the hand
    whispering sweet nothings in my ear
    like a gentle fall wind
    caressing my cheeks.
    Your touch made my skin
    come alive
    burning with longing and desire.
    As we grew closer
    your touch
    your kisses
    seduced me
    towards a path
    of unending
    torment
    and suffering.
    You taught me
    that love
    was putting your satisfaction
    your gratification over my safety.
    You kept me enslaved
    to your sick game
    your taunts
    your words
    like poison
    pumping through
    my veins.
    You brain washed me into a world
    where I was the marionette
    and you pulled my strings 
    to manipulate and control me.
    Every time I tried to leave
    you begged me not to leave
    you told me you would change
    your lies were like daggers
    in my heart
    killing me softly.
    Because of you
    I lived in fear
    I lived in endless suffering.
    Because of you
    my mind and spirit
    were broken
    shattered 
    dying slowly.
    Because of you
    I lived with darkness
    slowly consuming me
    from the inside out.
    Even when we parted ways
    You continued to taunt me.
    I begged you to go away
    but you refused
    you held onto me
    like a demon
    clawing at my back.
    I tried to put you from my mind
    but you made a home in my memories
    continuing to taunt me
    continuing to kill me softly.
    Because of you
    I walk around
    with caution tape around my heart.
    I look back
    at what we had
    with no anger
    but sadness.
    I look back with
    hope
    rather than despair.
    I want you to know
    that I am forgiving myself
    for not being strong enough
    I am forgiving myself for not
    believing in myself.
    I am letting anger go
    I am letting fear go
    I am letting suffering go
    I am letting pain go
    I am letting you go.
    I want you to know
    I am happy without you.
    I am no longer a victim
    that you can dominate.
    I want you to know
    that I am stronger now.
    For I am no victim anymore.
    I am a warrior
    I am strong
    I am beautiful
    I am a survivor
    Nothing will ever stand in my way again
    I am taking back my life here and now
    I will rise
    You will fall.
    I am a survivor.

    Poem Comments

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    GalahadMerida commented on Survivor's Poem

    04-26-2017

    This poem really moved me and brought past failed relationships into to my mind.
    Reply to Comment

    LadyDivine20212

    04/26/2017

    I am glad to know that this piece moved you greatly, I believe that it is important for all of us to find hope in the ashes of pain and suffering in our darkest hours. What we use in our darkest hours will become our defining moments. xoxo

    toredbloodink commented on Survivor's Poem

    04-25-2017

    As a survivor of bad I relate to this write... Being sexually assaulted as a child, anger , hate and so many things kept me from loving self and others... In2008 while in jail I read the Holy Bible and helped me to forgive the family friend and myself ... I loved this write God bless and keep going and never let anyone make you feel less... Redbloodink that's my first pen name here on this site.... If you want you can read some of mine ...
    Reply to Comment

    LadyDivine20212

    04/26/2017

    Thank you for the kind words! I will definitely read some of your work. :) God bless!

    To have great poets there must be great audiences too.

    Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)

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