I wonder

He fell again today...and I couldn't catch him

   Everyday I watch another failure, another lost battle, death is coming and he nor I can fight it. The doctors are stumped, and while they scratch there heads and wonder why, he's lost the use of both legs. Grace is not a word in his vocabulary, but who would have grace about death?

   As he cried on the floor and asked why...I didn't have the answers...and I didn't have the tears. I coddle him as a child because I don't know what else to do. I make him comfortable because that's all I can do.

   I'm dying with him, I feel it. I wonder about the girl I was just three weeks ago. I wonder if she'll ever come back. I wonder if he'll pass in his sleep or in my arms. I wonder if I'll cry.

   I wonder if I'll be able to remember him as the man he was.