I used to see in color

11/30/05

I used to see in color
yesterday, today and tomorrow
the violet blue of a February night
As snow scintilates sapphire
and the moon glows like fireflies in a jar
I crushed grayness in my palm
watched it fall through fingertips
descending from pallid smiles
I could hold Cantebury Bells so close to my skin
the blue would bleed into me
become the flow of light
and reason for breath

I used to run through Fairy Grass
watch my dull, pale flesh be cut
in a pink so blinding
all darkness would illuminate
and disappear in soft petals

But as the winters visit more
as spring time love died in June
as October leaves lost their amber
falling gently to the ground
All color ran in waves
away from my glance and memories
away from the crimson of my Mother's lips
and the emerald of my Father's eyes
away from the golden shimmer of butterfly wings
from the evergreen of Christmas
drenching eaves in the rainbow of December

I used to see in color
before the best parts of me shattered
before my laughter was hollowed
then turned to ash
before I was dismissed in alabaster
to only then disappear in the absence of light.