CHRISTMAS JOKES- CHRISTMAS FUN ! SHARE YOUR JOKES HERE!

A joke a day helps to keep the frowns away
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A frustrated St. Peter asked God, "My Lord , why won't you return to earth and put things right.?"

God replied. " Return to earth? Are you crazy? The last time I went, a teenager got pregnant, and people are still talking about it!"

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Ah-yah- yeye! PEACE

Last edited by cousinsoren 12-03-2010 at 11:01:08 AM

RE: CHRISTMAS JOKES- CHRISTMAS FUN !

This is not a joke for the blind>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

STONES or TONES??

One Christmas , in my village, a small store stocked a very popular two colour toned men's shoe. The young men , in the village boasted about their "Back 'n White two stones shoes." and their "Brown'n White two stones shoes", ................LAUGH, if you see the light of the joke.

Last edited by cousinsoren 12-23-2010 at 04:45:48 AM

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RE: CHRISTMAS JOKES- CHRISTMAS FUN !

BUTTON HOLES??


The newly wed woke after the first honey -moon night with a resolution to go to Church that Christmas Sunday morning. To his dismay, hubbie discovered that a button was missing from his best dress-shirt. Hubbie was upset over the missing button.
"IT's alright now, Darling," she cooed,after a minute or so. . "Problem solved. I have sewed up the button hole!" .\

I am still wandering why she took a needle and thread on her honeymoon.

Last edited by cousinsoren 12-23-2010 at 09:48:52 AM

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RE: CHRISTMAS JOKES- CHRISTMAS FUN !

his joke hits a bit below the belt[!/b]

Miss Cake and Mr. Candle




Whispered the wedding cake to the candle,
" I am afraid of the cutting affair."
Said the candle to the cake,
"I am worried about burning at both ends." [/b]

Last edited by cousinsoren 12-23-2010 at 08:41:53 AM

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RE: CHRISTMAS JOKES- CHRISTMAS FUN !

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RE: CHRISTMAS JOKES- CHRISTMAS FUN ! Morris Carghill'd Shrunken G- String!

MORRIS CARGHILL"S Shrunken G_String.

Morris Carghill was a celebrated Jamaican columnist. He inevitably peppered and seasoned his columns with wry humour. You had to laugh while you ponder his serious and caustic wisdom.

The Economic G- String. of Morris Carghill?- Sunday Gleaner 15, -02-1999:

"The G-15 SHOW which was billed as a big international event, and which the Prime Minister had hoped he could use as a g-string to cover the nakedness
of his country's finances,unfortunately shrank in size when more more than half of the chaps didn't bother to turn up.

RE: CHRISTMAS JOKES- CHRISTMAS FUN ! Morris Carghill'd Shrunken G- String!

MORRIS CARGHILL"S Shrunken G_String.

Morris Carghill was a celebrated Jamaican columnist. He inevitably peppered and seasoned his columns with wry humour. You had to laugh while you ponder his serious and caustic wisdom.

The Economic G- String. of Morris Carghill?- Sunday Gleaner 15, -02-1999:

"The G-15 SHOW which was billed as a big international event, and which the Prime Minister had hoped he could use as a g-string to cover the nakedness
of his country's finances,unfortunately shrank in size when more more than half of the chaps didn't bother to turn up.

RE: CHRISTMAS JOKES- CHRISTMAS FUN ! Morris Carghill'd Shrunken G- String!

MORRIS CARGHILL"S Shrunken G_String.

Morris Carghill was a celebrated Jamaican columnist. He inevitably peppered and seasoned his columns with wry humour. You had to laugh while you ponder his serious and caustic wisdom.

The Economic G- String. of Morris Carghill?- Sunday Gleaner 15 -02-1999:

"The G-15 SHOW which was billed as a big international event, and which the Prime Minister had hoped he could use as a g-string to cover the nakedness of his country's finances,unfortunately shrank in size when more more than half of the chaps didn't bother to turn up."

Last edited by cousinsoren 01-02-2011 at 09:30:02 PM

RE: CHRISTMAS JOKES- CHRISTMAS FUN LARRY: The brightest boy in my class!

[/b"]Larry is the brightest boy in my class!" said the lugubrious teacher. He has volunteered to be Santa Claus ,this Christmas,"

RE: CHRISTMAS JOKES- CHRISTMAS FUN LARRY: The brightest boy in my class!

"[b]Larry is the brightest boy in my class!" said the lugubrious teacher." He has volunteered to be Santa Claus, ,this Christmas," The class shouted, "No Teach, not Larry He will wreck the sledge!" .
"Then there will be no Christmas, if there is the Larry wrecks the sledge!" replied the lugubrious teacher.


A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
She started her class by saying,
'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!'
After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up.
The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Larry?'
'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'



Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed
cold cream on her face.
'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked.
'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began
removing the cream with a tissue.
'What's the matter, asked Larry 'Giving up?'



The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, 'Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?'
Larry quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'



Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police
station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the
10 most wanted criminals.
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really
was the photo of a wanted person.
'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him.
Larry asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"



Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father.
He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his
hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest.
After a few minutes, Larry asked,
'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied,
'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they
are healthy and in good shape before I buy.'
Larry, looking worried, said,
'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom .....'



If this brightened your day, don't let it stop here. Pass it on with a smile.




k the sledge!"

Last edited by cousinsoren 01-14-2011 at 04:45:27 AM