Originally Posted by Balladeer

BARACK OBAMA: The turkey crossed the road because it wanted change! The turkey knew it was time for a change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that turkey crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the turkeys on the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: Kill it!

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped little turkeys to cross roads. That experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every turkey in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the turkey crossed the road. We just want to know if the turkey is on our side of the road, or the other side of the road. It is either with us, or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the turkey crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did NOT cross the road with that turkey. (And by the way, what is your definition of turkey?)

AL GORE: I invented the turkey.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the turkey cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, at the wrong time, and I was misled about the turkey's intentions. I will now remain against it.


DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this turkey doesn't realize that he must first deal with his problems on this side of the road before it can hope to deal with the problems on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems to his life.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the turkey is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the turkey learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this turkey a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live out the rest of his life crossing roads like the rest of the turkeys.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe that there is a turkey. But we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road to see it for ourselves.


PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of some decent, hardworking American turkey!

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that turkey was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs whenever the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information about this.

DR SEUSS: Did the turkey cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the turkey crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because that turkey was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that turkey is gay. And if you eat that turkey, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all turkeys until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That turkey should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the turkey crossed the road. Somebody told us the turkey crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the turkey tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and thereby went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.


ARISTOTLE: It is the very nature of turkeys to cross a road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the turkeys in the world all crossing roads together, in peace!

BILL GATES: I have just released eTurkey 2010, which will not only cross roads, but will also lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eTurkey 2010. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the turkey really cross the road? Or did the road move beneath the turkey?

Originally Posted by Balladeer

hmmmm..let's try to make Ktirish smile..


Lucy had it first and Ethel had it last.
The thought of what
It could have been
Leaves this poor man aghast.


Mary Lungel had it twice?
My word, such gluttony!
Trying to figure this one out
Will be the death of me!


Oh, wait! Now I remember.
Lucy bought one at the store.
A novelty, or so she claimed,
She'd never used before.


So, in the middle of it's use,
Mary opened Lucy's door
And screamed "I've got to have that thing!"
It made poor Mary sore!


Then Ethel said, "Now it's my turn!"
And took the prize to bed
But woe was her. From Mary's use
The batteries were dead!


Now all is well for all three girls.
Lucy and Ethel smile.
They bought a ton of batteries
That should last quite a while.


Mary? Well, she moved along.
Now her life can't be sweeter.
Her name is Mary Stupid now
And she has her own Peter!!!

Originally Posted by inkmaster

To get to another Turkey on the otherside of the road!

So he would not get shot for Thanksgiving!

He thought the grass was greener on the otherside of the road but turned the grass over and it was DIRT!!

To party in the woods~

He did not want to feel stuffed after dinner!!

He needed to feel like a butterball!

On and on....LOL

Inkmaster

Originally Posted by gogant

I thought the 1st one was my mother-in-law......but, she is backwards.....

The second one is a word that describes my first and only blind date......
and, of course, there is no word to describe her....

Originally Posted by Balladeer

ok..two riddles

Forward I am heavy. Backwards I am not What am I?

also..

What is the only word in the English language that, if you remove the first letter and place it at the end instead, the result is the past tense of the first word?

Originally Posted by Balladeer

EAT....moving the letter creates ATE

Originally Posted by inkmaster

To get to another Turkey on the otherside of the road!

So he would not get shot for Thanksgiving!

He thought the grass was greener on the otherside of the road but turned the grass over and it was DIRT!!

To party in the woods~

He did not want to feel stuffed after dinner!!

He needed to feel like a butterball!

On and on....LOL

Inkmaster

Originally Posted by inkmaster

To get to another Turkey on the otherside of the road!

So he would not get shot for Thanksgiving!

He thought the grass was greener on the otherside of the road but turned the grass over and it was DIRT!!

To party in the woods~

He did not want to feel stuffed after dinner!!

He needed to feel like a butterball!

On and on....LOL

Inkmaster