hands of time
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hands of timeplease critique |
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Re: hands of timeHey Peter, I like this poem! The message comes through clearly, the form and style fits the topic, the only thing I would improve on is the rhythm. The flow feels a bit 'bumpy' in some places, especially around the third stanza. I'd even risk a tight syllable count and meter. It would really give an extra boost to the message. Tick-tock! |
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.