To tired don’t want to live. The temptation sometimes is to hard to resist. Never understanding what I am feeling; so mixed up. Very twisted.
Looking for a way out of this confusion; but there is no light for me only dark seclusion.
I feel like on of Picasso’s paintings; abstract pieces oddly shaped, my inner self a jig saw puzzle my feelings I can not put into place.
I need help, but I don’t know how to ask. Fear wells up in me, and I begin to feel trapped.
Trembling, and very afraid. I back off to where I feel safe; behind my walls where they can’t hurt me, beat me. Here where there is no pain.
Then I see you; and something in me breaks, you have somehow reached into my soul. You I can’t seem to shake.
Then I realize that I need you. How can this be? I get jumbled; so very lost, I have been alone so long. I don’t need anyone but me.
I struggle with myself; a constant battle within. I fight this urge to reach for you; I don’t want to be rejected again.
My insides scream. Everything explodes. Can’t stop the noise. I am losing control. To tired don’t want to live the temptations sometimes is just to hard to resist.