chasm

drops stream from my eyes and pool in my heart
my spirt is shattered, it will not restart
everyone else is living life like a queen and her joker
when all i feel is despair, a life barely mediocre
a ruse of happiness i seem to possess
but on one cursed thought, im obsessed.
i feel so remote from that girl of five
my chasm floats unfurnished, completely deprived.
my hopes of having it laden have been shattered. 
at times i feel bruised, bloodied and battered.
i loathe the 'reassurance' of "your day will come."
because until it does, the only thing i feel is numb.
i walk into a home, empty of a child's call,
i sit on the floor, feel my middle, and curl up into a ball.