Deep in my soul, is a tug of war
Deep in my soul, I am struggling
To know what this life is for
I try so hard to understand
I seek so hard to discern
What it is I am in this life for

I have sought for purpose
I have sought for dreams
I have had vision
I still don’t know what I am in this life for
The pit of emptiness is so deep
The depth of its hollowness never ends
The power of the darkness surrounding
So thick it can be cut through with a knife

The pain of not knowing
The hurt of uncertainty
The cry of distress is so loud I cannot hear beyond
My heart is breaking, my soul is torn.
What is it am I in this life for?
Is this the age old cry of failure?
I ask myself time and time again

In the morning, I long for death
I cry, “My Father in heaven take me home”
In the evening, I go to bed preparing
Ready to go home, not to awake again to this war
At dawn, I wake and the silence is so deep,
I get lost in it, wondering and wandering.
I see no end any time soon

The tears fall, yet I find no release
Torrents and torrents they fall to oblivion
Till my heart becomes faint and numb
And release only becomes a mirage.