My drug dealing past

The poverty and the fact that no one wanted to hire me cause of my skin developed my mind to be a drug dealer .
If you was tired of your life and wanted to feel good i was your sober killer.
Coke and water and baking soda made a drug called crack.
So i slung it outside and more money i received back.
It is nothing to be proud of, i had to pay the rent.
At first long days and nights on the corner i sold without spending a cent.
I made more for the doubling up ,so eventually people sold whatever i sent.
When the money was right i bought some protection.
I always watched my front and back,cause you would be lost without proper direction.
If you didn't have my money you would see my gun.
I scared the hell out of people and I always was up before the sun.
Paranoid was me all the time.
Haters don't want to see you doing good and beginning to shine.
So  much enemies was watching ,cops ,fake friends,guys that want to rob you,hoes wanting to take your every dolla.
My clientele was always bugging me at all times of the day and night, trying to get something for free as they holla.
Fellas was getting thrown in jail everyday .
I knew i was probably next so i changed the way i was  selling to a whole new way.
I begin to feel like i am committing genocide to everyone that wanted my drugs, that i give.
Always on the go ,is one of the ways that i chose to live.
I know that no one is perfect.
I almost got caught two times so i gave up my dealings for good, cause jail or dead  is not worth it.
I seen the effect it does to people including my mom.
That was one of the main reasons why i stopped and now i live so calm.
You don't want to know the man that i use to be.
To some people a gangster,pimp,drug dealer is what they always will think of me
Sometimes you have to move out of that environment for you to change.
A honest day of work is a feeling that is not strange.
It's a feeling that feels so good.
Now a days i hate when people ask me do I have anything in my hood.
I hate that a drug can control people and they need to look in the mirror and say"why am i continuing to hurt myself."
I am sorry for every drug deal i did  ,and i am a changed man, who is willing to do anything that i can 2 help.
It takes action to make this world a better place.
Then you can look in the mirror proud ,knowing that you tried, as you look at your face.